Sunday, April 21, 2013

Food and Sex


I have not been hesitant to write and talk about sexuality topics such as self-pleasuring or the concept of healing the entire body, including the genitals. But I also believe that our pleasure has many sources, not just the genitals, and it is important to emphasize pleasure beyond the genitals.

I respect and honor many simple pleasures, and I love to connect with professionals who work on the multifaceted aspects of healing, not necessarily having anything to do with sexuality. It is incredibly important to have knowledge and awareness of our minds, bodies and emotions. Any time we do something that allows us to be present in the moment and in our bodies and minds, we support sexual healing, even if what we do is not directly related to sexuality. Some of the healing options I personally use and respect are yoga, meditation, exercise, bodywork, massage and relaxation. And I believe in embracing the simple pleasures in life such as movement, the warmth from the sun or a sauna, sensations of all kinds and the pleasure of food.

There is a saying that we teach what we need to learn. I have been healing from and learning about a whole range of experiences over the course of my adult life. I’ve been a recovering alcoholic since 1984 and hope to continue that journey one day at a time for the rest of my life. My life journey has been about healing all aspects of myself, including my mind, emotions, body, sexuality and relationship with food.

I am as careful and conscious about sharing food with someone as I am about any other intimacy I may share with someone. I value all the forms of intimacy I encounter each and every day; I don’t take them for granted even if they are small or brief. I am conscious of the interactions and sharing of intimacy I have with people whether friends or family, in the workplace or at one-time meetings with people on the bus, in the street or at a conference or event. Some of these seemingly less significant forms of intimacy may be conversation, eye contact, silence, humor and sharing food. However, I consider all of these just as important and intimate as physical or sexual intimacy and possibly even if with a stranger or very brief.

To really embrace our full sexuality, then, means doing more than being sexual or engaging in self-pleasure. It means being present in our minds, bodies and hearts. It means experiencing full embodiment. It means healthy self-esteem and a sense of being worthy. All of these important elements can be found in all the other forms of intimacy I have mentioned as well as in sharing our experiences with food.

Embracing sexuality means self-love and trust and letting go in order to feel pleasure in every moment. It means nourishing ourselves in every way, with sleep, enjoyment, relaxation, hopeful thoughts and food. Healing our connection with food and bringing awareness about food into our lives are just as important as opening up to our self-love in other ways, including through sexual pleasure with another person or ourselves.



Copyright 2013 by Susan Miranda.  All rights reserved.  No part of this writing may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Money, Obligation and Conscious Consent

I think of the decision about what we charge financially for a service as one of our boundary choices. Respecting someone’s financial boundary is one of the first ways that as their customer I can show someone I will respect every aspect of them. I cannot think of a time when I have asked someone to lower their fee for a service. And I never feel that just because I paid someone money, they owe me something or I can treat them poorly.

Of course, there is some exchange taking place, or I would not have paid them, and I do want to be treated well as a customer. If I am not treated well, I will probably choose to not be a customer of that person.

But even if I am paying someone for a service, I want them to want to provide the service and not just because they are receiving money.

On occasion I have done something just for the money, like some day jobs, and it never feels good. I don’t want to be on either side of that kind of an exchange.

What I say a lot is that life is short. So having conscious intent and consent in every situation is a priority to me. I want to consciously choose everything I do in my life and know that people interacting with me are consciously choosing and wanting to interact with me as well. It does not feel good to interact if either person in the exchange does not truly want to participate. I believe this is true even if money is exchanged.


Copyright 2013 by Susan Miranda.  All rights reserved.  No part of this writing may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.